Happy Sounds
by Rizzy.and.Izzy
Summary: "Even when I'm not around her, just thinking about her makes me feel drunk. All my senses intoxicated with the desire to have her all around me." Jane's POV. Does Jane want more from Maura? Will she know how to ask for it? Yes, another one-shot. :)


_sociallyawkwardpenguin, thank you for Monday. Thank you for everything. Always. _

_A few liberties taken with the timeline for this story. It is set a few years in the future, but not too many. Some things are the same, some things are different._

* * *

There are these little things about a person. You don't know about them, until you just seem to happen upon them. These aren't things that are purposefully kept hidden, they just weren't known before. Co-workers, as much as we might not like to admit it sometimes, are people too. And you can't believe how much these little things can add to a person.

Like Frost for instance. I got into his car one day and the radio was on a country station. Maybe it's because this is his own personal car, and not the police car. Maybe it's because we're not just partners anymore. I've been quite content to call him my friend for some time now. Either way, he doesn't lower the volume, and I make no motion to turn it off. This is just one of those little things about him. He says something about Clay Walker, or maybe it's Neal McCoy. I can't remember, but I know I don't judge him for it. He embraces this side to himself, unapologetically and without guilt. If anything, it might just make me like him more. But I'd never tell him that. Never tell him that I think "A-OK" isn't all that bad.

And Korsak, he wasn't always such an animal lover. But each one of those fuzzy little creatures carried him through divorces numbers two and three. There is nothing he wouldn't do for any one of them. So when he watches those silly animal clips on YouTube with not an ounce of embarrassment on his face, I let him. This definitely makes me like him more. And this I just might tell him. Because Korsak always looks like he could do with a kind word. I know he'll go home to all his animals and they'll hug him. They'll lick him and bark at him and roll around with him. Well, as much as Korsak can roll anyway. But I know his house will be full of happy sounds. A calming sort of chaos.

I go home and it's not as noisy. Sure, I have Watson, that amazing turtle. I know that little guy will do all he can, but he's just not what I want. He's not what I need. Heck, in these moments I'd even take Bass. I might even call him a tortoise, just to be able to trip over him when I get home. Just so he can remind me that I'm not the only one there. Especially since Jo Friday passed away not too long ago. Without her, the quiet seems even louder. Even though Korsak gave me a framed photo of her taken way back when he first rescued her. I put her picture near Watson. I'm sure Jo would approve of that.

Even Frost is back with his girlfriend. That one from the FBI he reunited with. On again, off again, although they've been back on for a while. She seemed to show up as soon as that action figure doll disappeared form his desk. He ended up taking the toy home after Frankie made detective. He was going to give it to him, but decided against it and took it home just in case Frankie ended up sneaking away with it anyway. Or maybe he just didn't like the constant joking about it still being on his desk. Maybe his girlfriend secretly wanted it? Either way, it's not there anymore.

I don't even have anything on my desk to take. Not really. I wouldn't chance putting a picture of Maura on it, or in my drawer, for that matter. Sure, Maura is always with me at work, but it's not like I can take her home with me. Not yet. But I'm afraid of someone else taking her too, sneaking off with her when I'm not looking. I want to tell her how I feel about her, but what if she doesn't want to go home with me? Doesn't want to greet me at the door. Doesn't want to make happy sounds with me...

God, even Cavanaugh has someone, and it's my mother. How weird is that? But at least they have someone, they have each other. And I can see how different she is now that she's with him. She seems to have finally let go of her anger from the past and begun to look towards the future. I thought it would make the Lieutenant go easier on me, but that hasn't proved to be the case at all. He made sure to let me know that wouldn't be happening. He didn't necessarily make it harder for me, but it didn't mean I wouldn't do that to him. Wouldn't let him into the family without a fight.

At Sunday dinners I let him know that I wasn't going to treat him any differently either. He's my boss. He's my boss even at Sunday dinner. It will always be Sir, Lieutenant, or even less occasionally, Cavanaugh. Not Sean. Never his first name. Not just yet anyway.

Sunday dinner, which is no longer at Maura's house by the way, part of that whole letting go of the past thing. Ma felt like she couldn't move forward without moving out of Maura's guest house. Something about a holding pattern? So she went out and found her own place.

It's nice. Small. Sparse, but not empty. At least Cavanaugh hasn't broached the possibility of moving in together. Hasn't dared overstep those bounds yet. As far as I know anyway. My mother and my boss. Still hard to think about. At least they have someone greeting them when they come over. Someone to make sure it never gets too quiet, or too lonely. Like I said, I have Watson, but I'd much rather have the person who gave me Watson.

When he moves around in his terrarium late at night, that can sometimes be a happy sound too. It reminds me of Big Bad Bass moving around, which in turn reminds me of Maura. Big Bad Maura. Big Bad-ass Bass and Big Bad-ass Maura. I'm not making any sense anymore. Even when I'm not around her, just thinking about her makes me feel drunk. All my senses intoxicated with the desire to have her all around me.

It's when these feelings start swirling around my head that I quickly fall asleep. And I see her in my dreams, as I do every night. And we look at each other. And we just know all those little things about each other. Confessed them, admitted them, coaxed them from each other over the years. Between us now is just an airy laughter, a light and easy comfort. In my dreams I can have Maura be all my happy sounds and I can be all of hers. Hoping, always hoping, that one day we can finally be that for each other while we're awake, too.


End file.
